anyhoo, I dislike refusing her phone calls. I don’t know what to do anymore. actually, I haven’t been knowing for quite some time now. I know I can always talk to someone about this but what is the solution? I can’t avoid hurt. I feel hopeless, helpless & angry. I’m here living my life, and she’s living her’s the best we know how. I have abandoned her and left her to die alone. what kind of daughter does that?.. do I have a choice? can I still be happy? I’m dying inside as she dies physically… I feel cold and empty but my faith warms me when I need it the most. I keep asking for help but I’m afraid God is just saying no. or maybe he’s wanting me to have more faith. whatever it is, I’ll keep asking. I won’t stop until the day she dies. I am my mother’s daughter.